A New Awareness

Goldilocks: Goldilocks calling Cate. Come in please, over


Cate: Cate, here, Goldilocks, go ahead, over.

Goldilocks: My gut tells me you just had an incredible last 10 days or so; mainly highs, but some lows. Wanna talk about it?

Cate: (slowly) Where do I begin?

Goldilocks: (with great sensitivity) Anywhere you'd like. Remember, I'm a good news man myself.


Cate: I'm beginning to get a much better understanding why the mind only wants to dwell on the bad news or negativity.


Goldilocks: Tell me about it?


Cate: I thought you already knew everything.


Goldilocks: But you do want to talk about it don't you?


Cate: What makes you so wise?


Goldilocks: (humorously) Clean living. (pause) Never mind. How do you feel?


Cate: (sighs) incredibly peaceful under the circumstances.


Goldilocks: That is the goal isn't it or am I off base?


Cate: No, it should feel great, but the ego is messing with my mind and it feels strange to feel this way when my entire family is reeling from the shock.


Goldilocks: Tell me about Sunday. I thought it might be time to celebrate a great victory, go home and start collecting more of that back pay that I keep accumulating. You were almost there you know.


Cate: Was I?


Goldilocks: You would know that better than me.


Cate: (earnestly) Tell me, Goldilocks. Please, tell me.


Goldilocks: Sorry, I can't because I don't know. Only you do.


Cate: But that's the problem, Goldilocks, I'm not sure. And I want to be sure.


Goldilocks: Did you hear what you just said?


Cate: (smiling) Yeah, that I want something really, really bad.


Goldilocks: (continuing the discrimination process) And what does that mean?


Cate: (grinning broadly) That I can't have it because I'm in lack.


Goldilocks: Need I say more?


Cate: Nope, the hammer hit the thumb square on. One thing I did notice on Sunday, that I was not forcing it or trying to control it like before.


Goldilocks: I'd say that was progress, wouldn't you?


Cate: (sheepishly) I was feeling rather proud of myself. Yeah right, letting that feeling go, I can say I felt different. It wasn't really an out-of-body experience like I was expecting, but more of a detached sensation like I didn't belong, like I was above it all. Am I making any sense?


Goldilocks: Sure


Cate: (skeptically) You're not just saying that?


Goldilocks: No, I'm not. (pause) You're about to tell me more.


Cate: (nodding) Part of me was disappointed but then as I listened to the CD, a revelation hit...not exactly at that moment but later.


Goldilocks: (intrigued) Tell me more.


Cate: Larry emphasized to the graduates that each of us will experience freedom differently. Some may laugh hysterically, others may collapse with tremors. He did say we will experience it based on what we believe freedom to be. Naturally, I just assumed it would be a totally WOW! experience. That's because of my uniqueness and specialness. (do you see a little pride creeping in here?)


Goldilocks: hmmm, do tell


Cate: I mean I thought there would be whistles and bells or at least an incredible joy. What I did experience was something that was almost a mental orgasm. I felt this incredible feeling only briefly, like an energy flowing out of my body and then it stopped. But I continued to stay calm, peaceful and happy. Do you think that was it?


Goldilocks: hmmm, dunno, what do you think?

Cate: (gloomily) I wish I knew. (pause) I mean, I wish I really knew.

Goldilocks: Sounds to me like that "wish" is really a "want" wouldn't you say?

Cate: (sigh) Yes, I know it is.

Goldilocks: It also sounds like you're wanting control.

Cate: (nods) Yeah, that too.

Goldilocks: Just a suggestion but you might try letting go of that and see what happens. You just might surprise yourself, you know what I mean?

Cate: (now laughing softly) Funny, I know exactly what you mean.

Goldilocks: (brightening) Now, that we've gotten that out of the way, tell me about your brother-in-law.

Cate: (despondently) He committed suicide.

Goldilocks: Yes, I know

Cate: (momentarily taken aback) Oh...I...you don't need to explain. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this.

Goldilocks: (gently) How do you feel?

Cate: Amazingly pretty calm and peaceful considering the rest of my family. I feel so sorry for my poor sister. I wouldn't have wished something like this on my worst enemy.

Goldilocks: (softly) Which resides inside your head.

Cate: Yeah...I know he was unhappy and I tried reaching out to him but...I didn't act soon enough...(voice trails)

Goldilocks: Not sure, but I think you're beating yourself up now.

Cate: (slightly miffed) I wish you wouldn't do that.

Goldilocks: What? Remind you that the Enemy just launched a successful frontal attack and you can't remember who or what you're fighting for?

Cate: (angrily) At least you could show some consideration for my feelings. The guy blew himself up for Christ sakes. He nearly killed someone else in the process and my sister is terrified they'll be sued for everthing they have... (puts hand to forehead and shakes it) I'm sorry, Goldilocks, you're right as always. I don't know why I snapped at you like that. I lost my head. I'm sorry.

Goldilocks: No, Cate, It was my fault. You're entitled to your feelings, as long as you have them. And you have every right to be angry. Sometimes I come on a little too strong for my own good.

Cate: (imploringly) No, Goldilocks, I want you to do what you just did. I want you to keep reminding me my bedfellow is a dangerous rattle snake, no matter how you do it. Shake me, beat me, but don't stop, please don't ever stop. (with determination) He will not win, not as long as I have a breath in me. Freedom will have the victory this I pledge.

Goldilocks: Bravo, Cate, now what else did you want to tell me?

Cate: (not understading) What do you mean?

Goldilocks: You know without me telling you.

Cate: You mean how it's been affecting me?

Goldilocks: Hmmm, could be.

Cate: Well, it has and is affecting me strangely.

Goldilocks: How so?

Cate: Like it isn't bothering me, like I'm staying, for most part, peaceful and calm despite the hell that is affecting my sister and family. It's almost like God/Beingness has wrapped me with an impervious shield or shell and nothing can get in. Ego is trying to convince me that the shock has left me numb and unfeeling...

Goldilocks: (interrupting gently) But you're not buying it.

Cate: (lost in thought) No, I'm not, not after the high I felt on Sunday. It's a lie and I know it's a lie. I'm staying happy and positive despite what happened just like Larry teaches in The Abundance Course.

Goldilocks: Good for you. What else?

Cate: That I'm still caught up with the drama and the horrific circumstances and I want to tell anyone and everyone I know. (pause) Why do I feel this way?

Goldilocks: I dunno. You tell me.

Cate: I've thought about it. I know I like the attention. Is that wanting approval or control?

Goldilocks: Does it matter? The point is, you're wanting something,

Cate: I suppose. You'd think I'd want to protect my poor sister from anymore hurt or shame. But I don't. Am I a terrible person for that?

Goldilocks: Rattle, rattle. I hear the Devil knocking.

Cate: Thanks, Goldilocks for keeping me on course and focused.

Goldilocks: Don't thank me. You're doing it all. I'm just along for the ride.

Cate: I promise you a wild one.

Goldilocks: (hiding a grin) I prefer it be a short one.

Cate: (returning grin) I'll drink to that. (pause) Uh, I'm sure I've bent your ear enough for one day. But seriously, you are an invaluable help and support. If not for you, I'd be dead meat and being served up as the ego's main course long ago. Promise, you'll be there for me.

Goldilocks: How could I refuse such a gracious request? Truthfully though, I couldn't refuse you and you know I couldn't. I'll let you chew on that until next time. Goldilocks out.

(comment: to read more about The Release Technique and The Abundance Course, go to www.releasetechnique.com to try a free same go to www.releasetechnique.com/info)