A Great Forward Pass

Cate: Cate calling Goldilocks, come in, please over

Goldilocks: Goldilocks here, Cate. (pause) I'm feeling your determination. Two days in row. A record I believe.

Cate: Just wanted to share a few gains I've been experiencing in the last 24 to 48 hours. As Larry says "can it get any better; can you let go and find out? I have been feeling such peace and joy these last 48 hours. But first, I did what you said...ordered. I started cleaning up the past. I started with my sister, because that was where all the energy was. Oh, my God, such clutching and pain I felt when I asked myself the questions on the sheet. The big one was, "what did you want from her? One word came smashing back, APPROVAL, nothing more, nothing less. I saw it so clearly. That when I imagined that she rejected and abandoned me, (just like when I was left at Uncle Saul's and Aunt Ada as a baby) I stuffed all that hurt, anger and resentment, deep; so deep that I wouldn't look at it or couldn't look at it. I can see myself securing that stinking cesspool with a heavy lid with all kinds of locks and then piling on top more lids and locks. And by doing so thinking I would never deal with it again and that I was safe. With all my releasing, I was removing layer after stinking layer until yesterday I had built up enough momentum to blow the lid sky high. Despite my tears, I felt so free. It was wonderful. Then, when I talked to James last night I hardly recognized my own voice, calm, low tone, no agitation or excitment, no rushing of words. I was amazed. This in itself is a huge gain.

Goldilocks: (quietly) Way to go, Cate, or as Larry would say, "that's wonderful."

Cate: Releasing has become so much easier even in the last week. I am feeling a huge shift and not identifying with my body quite as much. In fact the hives which graced my body for over a year are gone.

Goldilocks: (without excitement) Can it get any better? Can you let go and find out?

Cate: (with a rush of breath) Yes!

Goldilocks: Onward and upward

Cate: Wait a minute. Those are Larry's words. You aren't Larry in disguise are you?

Goldilocks: I am you. You are me. Ask yourself, what is the difference?

Cate: (softly, knowingly) Lester...

Goldilocks, uh, gotta go. Anything else?

Cate: No, other than the fact I'm making an intention for a great weekend including seeing my mother-in-law happy and healthy. Oh, and I'm going to continue cleaning up the past. After I'm done with Mary, the nuns are next.

Goldilocks: You're on a roll. Keep right on rolling and smash that Enemy.

Cate: You know I will. (pause) I know I will. Talk to you next week. Cate out.